Very funny!!!

Wakakakaka!!!!!!!

Aaahhhhh............. finally the peak period has gone. From no time to pangsai, now I can choose the time when I wanna go to pangsai... :0 Wakakakaka.........

For the past 1 month time, its no other than work, sleep, work, sleep and work and sleep... Even til the extend that I'm only able to see my 2 lil angels while they were asleep. Gone to work by 8am, whereby they haven't get up... reached home by 12 am, whereby they already fall asleep... The other day, when I got a chance to look at my lil 2nd one, she dun wanna let me to 'dukung' her... keep on hiding her face behind mummy's head... After some pujuk pujuk, which last for 1/2 an hour, finally she let me to carry her again... *phew* Lucky the elder one got no problem in recognising her daddy...

Last 2 week, I've meet with an accident while on the way to work. It was a raining day, passing through a small town called Lukut before reaching Port Dickson. The road was slipery, with plenty of wet spot all the way... Reaching the traffic light at the main Lukut town junction, just opposite the 7-11 store, and there this traffic light start to blink. As you know, nowadays the 3 coloured light will blink 5 to 6 times before it changes from green to yellow right. So this car in front of me ( a local produced car ) applied an emergency break when the green light started to blink for the 1st time!!! Can you imagine it!!! I was doing at about 60 kmph... Seeing that fellow already stopped even though his car is in the middle of the cross road, with so little space for me to turn left or right and so little distance for me to stop... so the only solution available is to kiss his ass and so i did so!!! *BANG*!!! And there goes his bumper half way into the backseat, and my car... the number plate already reached the manifold of the engine...

Damn it!!! Me hantam belakang, repot talak boleh... sure kena saman. Mau bayar pakai poket sendiri, mesti more "kaw" than kopi o kosong. Jialat loh!!!!!!!!! What to do, settle on the spot loh...

Me kena hantam on friday, hati talak puas, saturday and sunday pergi cari uncle MKT, hantam sama dia "kaw kaw"... in the end apa pun tadak!!! TNS!!!

Than another story goes like this. Last monday, there is this guy came up to my door step with a BIG smile on his face telling my wife and I that we had won a Toyota Camry!!! Somemore is the latest model wan!!! Wuah... So nice arr???

But wait a minute... we didn't join any contest, didn't involve in any "Gores dan Menang" act... than how come we won this leh??? Very big suspicious on top of our both head... Than I started to question him...

Where your company from arr??? KL

Who is the big tauke arr??? Mat Salleh

How come I can win wan arr??? No slogan, no Q n A, it is just pure luck!!! ( sibeh siok man lidat )

Any proof all this is genuine??? Unker see this newpaper cut lah, is Pak Lah in the photo with my big tauke the mat salleh fellow you see... shaking hand somemore...

How I can claim my prize leh??? No worry unker, once u say u accept the prize, we will send it to your door step in 15 minutes time.........

What if I dun wan the prize leh??? Ohh, lidat cannot oredi loh... unker must accept wan loh. Is your prize mah unker... Free wan oso dun wan arr???

Ok, like this lah... now I dun wan the prize, what if I give the prize to you... Toyota Camry woh... brand new somemore woh... new model somemore woh.. ok arr??? Err.. err... cannot lidat wan unker.. is your prize mah...

Ok lah, I dun wan the prize... i got my old car oredi... petrol very expensive nowadays, cannot afford to drive so big car... can exchange for money arr??? maybe 50% of the car value??? I can give you 10% also...

Ok lah unker, you dun wan nevermind... err eerrrr..... can i use your phone to call my fren to come and pick me up arr???

Nevermind lah, I help you to call the police and come and pick you up ok??? Errr.... nevermind unker, thank you very much arr..............

Than this fellow walk quick quick away, like his ass kena on fire lidat... Where got meaning wan like this kinda thing right??? If you say you give me free petrol than ok lah...

Siau!!!

To marry or not to marry???

Let us read through this and think about it... ;)



Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : "Nothing."
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an
hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiry date."


Wife : "Do you want dinner?"
Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"
Wife : "Yes or no."


Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and
the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be
greater than this one?"


Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries,
troubles and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries
or troubles."
Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."


Son: "Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my
seat to a lady."
Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
Son: "But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap."


A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"


Girl to her boyfriend: "One kiss and I'll be yours forever..."
The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."


A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy
body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor!"


WAKAKAKAKAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

So do you wanna get married now??? ;)

Its been a while.........

Wuah!!! Its been a while since the last time I updated my blog... Seriously, all the lazy worms is crawling all over my bones... Damn it, damn 9 haevy bone!!! But nevermind, since I'm lacking of time to do any proper post, at least there are still some update right...

Here is some funny hokkien video clip I found... Damn 9 hilarious...








;)

Me as a tar poh, ang and LAU PEH!!!

She taged me... As you can see in the title up there... Being a father is not an easy job here, and I'm telling you all these cause one day you will be in my shoes, as a mum or a dad. And for those who already being one of them, you know what I mean right... Well, wish me all the best... ;)

Princess 1 : Dade........ Buy mum mum!!!

Daddy : Ok, come lets go... ( off we go to a nearby coffee shop... )

Princess 1 : Dadee......... Want to drink neen neen.............

Daddy : Ok... you wait here hah... watch mickey mouse first ok... daddy go and make milk for you ok......... ( Off daddy went to the kitchen to make milk for princess )

Princess 2 : Uuuuuuaaaaaaawwwaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Princess 1 : Daddeeeeeeee.................. mei mei emm emm!!!!!!!!! ( pangsai edi )

Daddy : Okokok................. ( off daddy go to toilet to get wet tissue and new napkin )

Princess 2 : UUUUUUUUUaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Daddy : * go and check wats happening to lil angel 2* ( check for wet napkin, emm emm, chut chut, neen neen time...etc )

Princess 1 : UUUaaawwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Princess 2 : UUUaaawwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Queen : AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Daddy : * Run away fast fast in his old junk!!! Tekan kuat kuat itu pedal minyak!!!*


Done this tag!!!

Wakakakakaaaaaaa!!!

Am I copywriting??? Anyway a friend send this to me, and I feel it is very meaningful and a good laugh guareented. Well, lets read through, ok??? ;)

Ai Peanut Boh???

Ah Beng is a bus driver;
One day got this old folks home "pao" his busfor a day trip to Pulau Ketam.
Sitting right behind the driver's seat is Grandma Sue and from his rear mirror Ah Beng can see that Grandma Sue is happily munching away.
In the middle of the road trip, Grandma Sue tapped Ah Beng on his shoulder and asked him...
Grandma: "Ah Beng ah! You want peanuts boh? Grandma treat you eatpeanut ai mai?"
Ah Beng: "Tenkiu ah ma... yes I want!"
Then Ah Beng also happy happy munching peanuts...
about 20 minutes down the road, Grandma Sue asked Ah Beng again...
Grandma: "Ah Beng ah! You want peanuts boh? Grandma treat you eatpeanut ai mai?"
Ah Beng: "Tenkiu ah ma ... yes I want!"
To make the story short, this goes on for a few more times then AhBeng finally asks Grandma Sue...
Ah Beng: "Ah ma ah ... you dont eat peanuts one meh?"
Grandma: "No... no eat! Ah ma boh teeth la!"
Ah Beng: "Aiks! Boh teeth then why ah ma buy peanuts leh?"
Grandma: "No choice leh! Just now that 7-11 is out of chocolate so ahma kena buy this peanut chocolate lor! Ah ma lick the chocolate aroundthe peanut and the peanut give you eat lor!"

Wakakakakaaaaa!!!


The Good Husband

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:

'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian'

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, 'Son... What happened last night?' 'Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when youran into the door.

Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??'

His son replies, 'Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, I'm married!'

Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirin $0.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time.. 'Priceless!


Well, hope that really makes your day. Happy weekend......... ;)

The 1...

The One...

I have One...

You have One...

Your mother uses your father's One...

Your auntie uses your uncle's One...

A married lady will acquire One...

But a divorce lady will lose her One...

Arnold Schwarzenneger has a longer One...

Michael J. Fox has a short One...

Madonna doesn't has One...

The Chinese usually have a short Ones...

While the Indian usually have a long Ones...

Do you have One???

How long is your One???

Which One is your preffered One???

So what is The One???

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What are you thinking of???

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Your surname la!!! What else???

Anyway... I like the way you think.........

Wakakakakakakakaka!!! I Got Cha!!!

Telemarketer.

Muahahahahaaaaaaaaa!!! You know about telemarketer??? You know that they will talk and talk and talk non stop once you answer their call. And you know that sometimes how they can get all your informations and contact numbers. Sometimes you just wonder how wonderful is that you got the right way and trick to stop them from continuing talking. I got this from a friend, very good trick indeed.........

Kekekekeke......... Thanks for the informations. Very useful indeed.

p.s. If there are any telemarketers who reading this, please don't sue me ok??? ;) I know I'm very blur now, need to sleep edi. Nite.........

Luit

Sikalang mau hidup manyak susah!!! Semua balang harga naik. Minyak keleta lah, minyak masak lah, susu lah, gula lah, tepung lah, tol lah, macam macam lagi tau. Hali hali pikir macam mana mau cari lebih luit, hali hali pikir pasal luit saja, talak benda lain dalam wa punya kepala lagi. Apa mau jadi ni!!!

Beli nombor ingat mau jadi kaya, last last jadi makin talak luit.

Beli ini kedai, bukak itu kedai.

Beli hari rabu saja, bukak hari sabtu!!!

Ini kalu macam mana mau jadi kaya???

Hali hali kelija macam lembu, dari matahari belum naik sampai bulan pun sudah keluar,

Cukup bulan pergi bank mau angkat luit, tengok tengok separuh sudah untuk bayar bil sahaja.

Bil apa???

Bil air, bil letrik, bil tv, bil telepon, termasuk bil pangsai pun kina bayar!!!

Yang balance mau beli susu anak, bini mau makan, keleta mau makan juga!!!

Bayar sana bayar sini, apa yang tinggal???

Talak!!! Kosong!!!

Spendar sudah bocor pun tak cukup luit mau beli balu punya...

Ini macam betui betui susah!!!

Haiiiiiiiii........... bila lah gua boleh ada cukup luit mau pakai???

Gua tak mau mintak sampai jadi kaya, cukup lah kalu luit itu cukup untuk dipakai.........

Apa lah nak jadik ni???

My Wife's Cleaniness Attitude.

As usuall, I reached home after my work today, rushing to the toilet cause my water tank is high level. Upon seeing the nice view of the toilet bowl, without wasting much time I emptied my water tank.................... *phew* what a relieve......... You know lah, traveling from my work place back to home requires about 45 minutes and after some teh tarik sessions, how can you not expect the water tank to full, right...

While I'm cleaning up the mess that I've made, sudden I saw the red colour small little pail that my daughter used to play while she baths, placed nicely at the corner of the bathroom, fill with water and there is alot of all these tiny winny kind of button, all black in colour and it have alot of numbers and alphabets on it. In my heart I said to myself...... "What have mummy bought for the lil one today??? So cute and nice" On a second glance, these cute little button looks very familiar, and I get closer and try to have a better view and SHIT!!! That looks like the keyboard buttons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I quickly rush out to look for my desktop, I mean my desktop's keyboard and there I saw my wife sitting on a nice cozy chair, in her hand t here is a white dam towel, wipping the pc.

Me : What are you doing???

PW : I'm cleaning the pc loh. Look at all these dusts and hair that you have collected.

Me : But how you clean it???

PW : Using a cloth loh, wiping.........

Me : And what is the pail of buttons in the bathroom???

PW : Ohhhhhhhh, that one arr. That one is the keyboard button loh. I dismantel everything

mah. As you can see, there are so many dusts between all the buttons.........

Me : * peng 9 san edi *

There goes the whole 2 hours trying to assemble back the keyboard, which I manage to do, but in the end, more than half the button is not functioning well. Well, there goes the keyboard to my daughter, another toy for her to play. Went out after dinner to get a new keyboard... And guess what my wife told me..........

PW : There, if I didn't do some cleaning, you won't be ending up with another new keyboard

which is much more better than the old one, and our daughter won't be able to have her

own keyboard. ( smiling at me with her innocent face ).................

Intensive Training in Progress!!!

Waaaaaaaa Chaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Don't play play man!!!

Don't even come near man!!!

I'll wallop you "kaw kaw" wan!!!

All the "lap sap" human, better cover your "ka-cheng" fast fast!!!

Muahahahahaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!! KNS!!!

Strange but TRUE!!!

This is Weird But Interesting...

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too.
Cna yuo raed tihs?

Only 55 people out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,
it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are,
The olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Azanmig huh?
yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!


Got this from a fren of mine. TQ yah...

*Ring* *Ring*

Have you ever received any phone calls from any insurances agents that you don't know them at all? And the funny part is that how they got your contact number, home or offices addresses and your personal details? This have been happening to me quite often, and it is from the same company, but with different agents that keep on calling back again and again and again...

I really salute them partly, cause they are these kinda person that have thick skin, that don't care about how other people scolded them, curses on them, avoided them ... etc. ( which I didn't do at all ). One thing for sure is that these kinda call is very annoying!!! They keep on calling you back, day after day, but at the same time, like what I'm doing is evereytime they called, I'll surely reject them buta buta wan. But, once you think it is over, the next day, they can call you back and can ask how about your decision. Aren't they understand what I've said earlier??? And than it goes again, one word... *Don't Want*. No need to waste your saliva to talk more about it, cause everything for me is the same. Pay extra, more burden!!!!!!!

On the other hand, when I think deeply, they have to keep on surviving in this competitive environment. Actually pity them also lah, every month have to hit target, if not backside sure kena fire wan. Target didn't hit, less commisions. Less money, mau makan apa??? But if I if to enrol on all these, they got something from me, but me mau makan apa??? Really jialat lidat!!! Okokok, cut the crap!!!

Any of you can offer any kind of better way to decline all these kinda calls from them??? Any idea???

Sorry for the readers out there if you are one of the agents. I mean no harm... I come in PEACE!!! I only seeking for remedy and solutions only. Please don't sue me yah, myself also cari makan like you all...

PEACE!!!

Qoutes

Got something to share today. Read through these qoutes and tell me what do you think about it.


WISE PEOPLE THINK ALL THEY SAY; FOOLS SAY ALL THEY THINK

IF YOU ARE A VEGETARIAN JUST TO BE NICE TO ANIMALS, WHY ARE YOU EATING THEIR FOODS?

THE GOLDEN RULE : HE WHO HAS THE GOLD MAKES THE RULES!!!

THE SOONER YOU FALL BEHIND, THE MORE TIME YOU HAVE TO CATCH UP

I'M A LITTLE MORE THAN USELESS


Make any sense???

IT Tech

When the IT technology gone too far into our dailylife, what will be the effect on us??










Peace!!!

The Meaning Of Kisses.........

Kisses, I believe everyone of you might have experience it before. What does it feels like??? How is the feeling of being over powered by kisses??? Satisfaction? Excited? Melted? You name it, you have it. But do you know that in every type kisses, there is a meaning behind it. Lets find it out ok???

• Kiss on the stomoch : I'm ready!!!
• Kiss on the forehead : I hope that we are together forever.
• Kiss on the ear : You are my everything.
• Kiss on the neck : We belongs to each other.
• Kiss on the shoulder : I want you!!!
• Kiss on the lips : I LOVE U!!!

How about some actions being done to you by your loved ones other than kisses... Lets check it out too what kind of actions and the meaning behind it.........

• Holding hands : We definitely loved each other.
• Slap on the butt : Thats MINE!!!
• Holding on tight tight : I don't want to let go!
• Looking into each other's eyes : I just really in love with you.
• Playing with the hair : Tell me that you love meeeeee.........
• Arm around the waist : I Love You too much until I can't let go.
• Laughing while kissing : I am completely comfortable around with you.

So ladies and gentlemen, what do you think about it? Does it make any sense???

Commonly used phrases in the office and... what they really mean!

Muahahahahaha......... before I start to talk about it, I edi start laughing. Everyday see it, everyday read it, and everyday write it. And I never thought of it until a 'pang yao' of mine used a highlighter pen and highlighted it to me, by than I straight MUAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!! Pleasesss scroll down to find out more.........

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1) For your information. (FYI)

- I don't know what to do with this, so please keep it.

2) For your action. (FYA)

- I don't know what to do with this, so I'm passing this shit to you.

3) Noted and returned.

- I don't know what to do with this, so please keep it for a little while.

4) Review and comment.

- Do the dirty work so that I can forward it and sign off with my name.

5) Action please.

- Get yourself involved. Don't worry, I'll claim the credit.

6) For your necessary action.

- It's your headache now. Woohoo!!!

7) CC to

- Here's a share of the headache.

8) BCC to

- I'm telling someone important that I'm working and sharing the headache with you.

9) For your approval, please.

- Put your neck on the chopping board for me please. :D

10) Action is being taken and will revert in due time.

- I lost your correspondence and still trying to locate it. - I??m busy! Bother me next week!!!

11) Please discuss.

- I don't know what this is all about. So please brief me.

12) For your immediate action.

- Do it NOW! Or we'll all get into trouble!!!

13) Please reply soon.

- Please be efficient. It makes me look inefficient because of you!

14) I am investigating/ processing your request with the relevant departments.

- They are causing the delay, not me! (Eyes open big big, innocent look)

15) Thanks & Regards.

- Thanks for reading all this bullshit.

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Muahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa..................... ;)